17.4.14

i posted a story called 'blood man' on this site.  it was cut out of 'witch piss.'

RIP NAPOLEON 'THAT KID PO' THE CAT


rest in peace mighty hunter.  you will be remembered as a psycho. anyone can tell by looking in your eyes.  hunt on mighty hunter.  may there be someone where you are to kiss your lion chin.  who could forget that one time when i was shadowboxing your face trying to annoy you and i accidentally clipped your chin with a punch and you stared off for a second with your mouth open then shook your head and were normal again. keep crip-walking mighty hunter. you fucking psycho.
i posted a story called 'fun' from 'hurt others' on this site.

can't figure out how to link shit that good so there's an ad for 'hurt others' before it, can't figure out tumblr.  i try to do shit and it doesn't work.

thanks to mandy 'sock mama' zeller for scanning this shit for me.
when young authors are portrayed as 'hip' or 'cool' or 'bad boys/bad girls' by journalists...that shit is so stupid.  save that shit for whatever D.O.A. young band is coming out.
when you wear a coat you haven't worn since last spring and you find a bent-up king cobra cap in the pocket

16.4.14

make like a hairdresser and die
casually eating a small pile of sticks during a televised interview
a pretty sweet blurb would be: 'love it! the literary equivalent of a totino's party pizza!!!!'
looking just far enough into the sequence of events that represent your future to foresee a feeling of 'now what.'


i'll mail a stapled 'chapbook' of the story 'fun' ripped out of 'hurt others' to whoever writes the 60th review of person on amazon.
read 'hallelujak giant space wolf' by daniel bailey.  i know since it's older than three months old no one cares anymore, but it's a great book.
really like 'when your number isn't up' by mark lanegan
whenever i read that shit about 'showing not telling' i think 'nah....tellem boy, lettem know.'
if anyone owns 'hurt others' and a scanner, and would like to scan the story 'fun' and post it somewhere, that would be cool.  let me know.   sampinkisalive  at g mail dot com
currently, my only goal is to one day have an audiobook out, read by roy jones jr.
'dead bird licker' never seems to be offered as a 'what do you want to be when you grow up' option

them ohio goons

this answer from jordan castro in this inteview is really funny:

It’s a really cool concept and something that really strikes us at Y-Mag. We are always on the hunt for people who sort of encapsulate this century, a zeitgeist for that present moment, could that be you???
Funny you mention that, Kate. As I’ve frequently expressed in past interviews, Zeitgeist is one of those rare books-turned-movies that really captures what it’s like to be pre-9/11 in a post-9/11 world. Rarely a moment goes by when I’m not able to not think about those who didn’t (or did) turn into men (from boys). I think the late Theodore Storm said it best when he saidZeitgeist was “a domestic drama and the record of a spiritual journey.”
want my 'thing' to be 'guy who LOVES everything bagels.'  like try and work it into everyday conversations.  'so you think the blackhawks will win the stanley cup again?'  'i don't know dude, but one thing's for sure, if the hawks want it as bad as THIS GUY wants an everything bagel right now, then fuck yeah! because brother, i loves me an everything bagel, and you know it!'
reality show called 'thass whassup!' where there's a room filled with 10-20 beds containing people too depressed to leave bed....how will they interact?  WILL they interact? what will happen!?
that shit where sometimes when you look at a word/words it looks like a weird painting/shape/hieroglyph for a second.
want to get business cards that say 'Googar Helnish, Corpse Impersonator and Tomato Farming Millionaire Bad Boy.'
that shit where you always feel like something happening in the moment, and so you have difficulty in life because you never feel the same, and you never feel like something that will be around in the future because, maybe you will, but you won't be the same, like everywhere you walk there's a little piece of ground following you around beneath your feet, but everywhere else is a deep pit
when you seek out the company of only your ringing ears at the end of the day
feel more interested in people who have strong opinions, even if i disagree with them, than people who are like, just whatever all the time
that moment when you feel excited to just allow the most evil parts of you to just 'do they thang' rather than try and fight them.
three thousand thumbs down to logan square with its disneyland for art students bullshit
the mixture of excitement and shame as an adolescent every time my dad was late coming home from work, thinking he died in a car crash or something like that.
feel like most everyday culture, like interpersonal culture, is an attempt to reduce anything different/unique about people to a point where it's all the subject for ridicule, like most people just occupy this meaningless point of having no belief/attitude/personality aside from dragging others into that passive/pointless viewpoint.
single unafraid person swinging wildly at an approaching brickwall covered in broken glass vs. secretly terrified person in control of an endless army of plastic soldiers.
a funny cause of death would be trying to put pants on then getting your leg a little caught and jumping to try and maintain balance but then falling facefirst into a coffee table and dying facedown on the ground with your pants around your ankles.
shouts out to my girls and boys being told by adults that 'it will get better' but knowing it never will.
not ever being serious is just as shitty as always being serious.  
hell yeah dude, i'd love to hear more about your tattoo and where on your arm you were thinking about getting it
the trick seems to be not being too sensitive or too insensitive to painful things
did an interview for the kansas reading this friday.
the way most people are just telling you things to have you confirm/support them, not actually think about and discuss them.
book promotion where every copy of the book is guaranteed to have a handmade coupon in the back and the coupon is good for like 'one cleaning of your room' or 'painting your house' or 'bringing you dinner' or 'neutralizing upwards of two or three of your enemies' or 'raking your leaves.'

15.4.14

when there's a shift-change between the more entertaining/superficially social you and the overbearing militant dad you
an easy way to piss off a stranger is to, when sitting near them, just turn and put your mouth close to their ear/head and yell, 'whassup!'
slowly realizing that not everyone knows what a pizza puff is
scott mc clanahan and i will be reading in kansas this friday.  it's at 'The Roost'--sponsored by the lawrence public library, 7pm.  bring a beverage and a side.  i think scott will be bringing some of his famous 'you gotta be jokey artichokey' dip.

14.4.14

keep thinking, 'come on kids, come give ya Aunty Soshul a kiss now.'
i identify more with inanimate things than things that are viewed as 'like me' by outside observers.
performance art piece where you hang yourself with a razor-lined 1000 foot bungee cord
am constantly the opposite of 'having hearts for eyes and little hearts shooting out from around me'
that refreshing feeling after reminding yourself that it's not other peoples' fault you are mostly alone, it's yours
from 'under-boob' to 'just slightly above armpit' is the holy zone
banging your head against a hard surface after saying, 'oh i love this song' to someone after a song comes on wherever you are
a broken mug is way better than a broken bottle
the sometimes mistaken idea that you're helping someone by making his/her situation better and not worse.