sitcom/porn synthesis

here is something i created. i used moments from sitcoms and some lines from porn websites and blended them. see if you can spot the portions i extracted from the porn sites.

i have conjoined titles as well. it is called:


Everybody Loves Getting His or Her Toes Licked & Ass Eaten, Then Cumming on a Slut’s Face


A man walks into a brightly-lit kitchen where his wife is doing dishes and humming a melody. The man is carrying a giant net filled with various pieces of baseball equipment. He is tangled in the net and practically falls into the kitchen.

“Honey, I’m—I’m,” he begins, but just sighs deeply and sinks into a chair at the kitchen table.

His wife turns off the faucet and walks over to him. She frowns sympathetically and caresses his face with a dishwashing glove.

“Tough day with the kids at practice, Honey?” she asks and sits next to him.

“Yeah, Frank didn’t show up so it was just me and a group of kids—a group of kids not exactly interesting in baseball,” he says then sighs again.

“Oh sweetie,” she says and rubs his shoulder. “Where’s Jimmy?” she asks. “Is he still in the car?”

The man looks up at his wife, “Oh—no, he went to play over at Eddie’s. He asked to sleep over there and I said that was fine.” He rubs his eyes. “How was your day?”

She takes off the rubber gloves and begins, “It was alright. I talked to my mother. She’s coming over tomorrow.”

“Yipes, looks like some balls are going to get batted around after all!”

(audience laughs)

She frowns at him and begins to finger the remaining bubbles on the glove.

He continues. “Seriously babe, you know we don’t get along. I might have to take a trip to the ol’ golf course.”

“Now Harold, you promised you’d be nice to my mother,” she says and gives him a stern look.

“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you!”

(audience laughs)

“You be good,” she says and dabs some bubbles on his nose. “On a different topic,” she continues, “I heard the neighbors at it again today.”

“Oh brother!” he says.

“Yeah, I know. She loves getting up in her guts,” she says.

“Tell me about it,” he says. “Once he blows his load in her tight ass, I’d like to see some nice closeups of her farting it all back out.”

“Definitely,” she says. “Now that’s what I call anal destruction!”

(audience goes woooooo!)

The man nods and says, “I think they're from Europe or something.”

The wife cranes her neck to look out her window at the neighbors’ house. She puts her hand on his arm and says, “Those euro sluts don't care where the dick has been as long as they can suck it!”

The man nods and looks at his wife with a serious expression. “When you get right down to it, a horny amateur slut is nothing but a cum receptacle. You have several different holes to deposit your spunk in,” he says, then rubs her hand lightly.

“So why not fill her throat full of a steaming hot load?” she inquires.

“Why not?” he smiles and taps her hand. “Hey, you know what?” he asks suddenly, “with Jimmy gone and your mother not coming until tomorrow, we have the house to ourselves.”

She smiles in rapid comprehension. He winks at her.

“What are you saying?” she asks.

“I’m saying how would you like your hot bubble-butt crammed full of cum?”

“I’d love it. In fact, I am ready to brim with hard cock in a hardcore fuck fest.”

“Good, because this pork is for real. I’m talking serious buttsex.”

She takes his hand and leads him through the living room to the stairs.

“I can’t wait to watch my tits swing back and forth while you pound my tight twat until you blow your load all over my titanic tits!” she says.

“Anal destruction,” he says.

She taps his nose playfully and says, “Sodomy at its best! Hardcore anal videos!”

(audience laughs—piano flourish, tight cymbal splash and out to commercial)


commercial:


Two people are eating gum and wearing the same clothes, standing next to one another.

“Double the pleasure and double the fun with double the cocks in one tight twat,” says the announcer.


Camera returns to the couple, undressed and in bed, covered by the blanket. He is sitting upright. She rests her head and forearm on his chest.

The man flicks the television off.

“Was that a gum commercial?" he asks, "I'm confused."

His wife smiles up at him.

“Cock brutality,” she says and kisses his chest.

(audience goes “wooo” and some go “yeah” and some whistle)

The man yawns and places the television remote on the nightstand.

“Huge Cock Shemales, featuring real Trannies in hardcore reality porn XXX videos,” she says already on her side, her back to him.

“I don’t understand that,” he says back.

She answers, “Sorry I was falling asleep. What’d I say? Sorry.”

“Goodnight,” the man says, and kisses his wife on the nose. He leans over the nightstand and grabs the pullcord on the lamp. “Goodnight,” he says again, like it is a moment of extreme significance (or extreme handjob cumshots), then pulls the cord.

The room goes black.

(piano flourish and out)