you will never be loved by anyone sincerely

i am watching The View, because if my television isn't on i feel crippled by silence. they are talking about kitchens. i am imagining myself sitting at the table with them, not saying a word and looking down at the table. i am imagining their faces as they look at me trying to avoid being looked at. i am imagining them looking at each other like, "who is this mutant tampon fuck and why is he on our show?" i am imagining how funny it would be to start covertly masturbating under the table and then when they're like, "are you ok you mutant tampon fuck?" then i'd cum onto barbara walters' face and say something like, "touchdown!!!" i would tattoo a pentagram on my hand like Nightstalker and then yell, "Swear to Satan!!" and then start beating whoopi goldberg into death. into death is a new expression i just made up. i will beat whoopi goldberg into death. i will also beat kendra grant malone into death and then put a squirrel into her vagina so only the tail is showing like she has a bug furry penis. i want to have a doctor surgically remove a piece of my jaw so i can keep it in my mouth throughout the day and suck my own marrow out. i hate to say it but i think i hate almost everyone i meet. i met a girl the other day and she was so depressed it was funny. she could barely stay awake. i like people that are so depressed they are sleepy all the time. i like crippling depression. not like, "oh i think i am depressed" but like "oh fuck i can barely stay awake and i want to sleep in a cave and never get up." the super depressed girl said, "i haven't showered in three days" and i fell in love with her. then i imagined pushing her out of a moving car. tomorrow i hope i wake up with my legs ripped off and then when i try to stand i just fall over and slip around in my blood. i am pointless. you will never be loved by anyone sincerely. my favorite animal is me. if you were a small patch of grass i would pee all over you and then clip you low with pruning shears. i would never kill you, i would just keep clipping you low.


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