IF YOU WERE MY BLOOD I WOULD OVERDOSE ON HEROIN

i am sorry.
i didn't want to be at your place when my head broke into pieces all over the floor, spreading out over your tile.
and i didn't want for you to have to watch me clean it up, slowly, big pieces first then the smaller ones.
i am sitting now.
and if you look at things a certain way, you are always on top of the earth's curve.
and someone is saying ta-da wherever i go but no one is clapping.
and that's good because clapping is the sound of things going wrong.
i am sorry.
i am going to smash your arms and legs and pour the dust into an hourglass and measure how long it takes me to forget that i am one of six billion people who showed up to the party uninvited and with nothing in their hands.