2 INTERVIEWS WITH IMPORTANT WRITERS

YO HOW'S EVERYONE FEELIN' TONIGHT. I, CAN'T, HEAR, YOU. SOMETHING'S BEEN HAPPENING LATELY WHERE I KEEP ALMOST PASSING OUT. MY EYES GET ALL WATERY AND I HAVE TO TAKE A DEEP BREATH. HELL YEAH! LEMME SEE YA HANDS IF YOUS DOWN WITH RANDOM FAINTING! I, CAN'T, HEAR, YOU. I INTERVIEWED MARY MILLER AND JIMMY CHEN FOR DOGZPLOT MAGAZINE. I AM INTERVIEWING KAREN SUPPER TOO, SHE IS A STRIPPER AND SHE WORKS AT THE BUNNY RANCH IN NEVADA. ONE OF HER ANSWERS IS: "STOP, HAMMER TIME." WHICH I THINK I'M GOING TO START SAYING WHEN I WANT OUT OF A CONVERSATION. THEN LIKE, DANCE AWAY. WIN WIN.

INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE OF THE DAY FROM ALBERT FISH: "A boy or girl's behind, which is the sweetest part of the body and sold as veal cutlet, brought the highest price."

SAY WHAT ALBERT? OH WELL.

FINALLY, I'VE BEEN DOING THE TIM ALLEN "URRRGH?" THING TO PEOPLE A LOT. AT FIRST THEY LAUGH. THEN THEY SEEM TO KEEP THEIR EYE ON ME NO MATTER WHERE I'M AT IN THE ROOM.

I, CAN'T, HEAR, YOU.

OH SHIT AND THIS: