ONE TIME I DRANK HALF A BOTTLE OF PINE SOL BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WOULD KILL ME

i just emailed the final draft of THE SELF ESTEEM HOLOCAUST COMES HOME to SIX GALLERY PRESS.

i am wearing a golf shirt that i found underneath some couch cushions yesterday. i shook the crumbs off it and put it on. i thought with sincere sadness for a second about all the shirts i've lost and totally forgotten about. you are with me shirts.

since the age of sixteen, every day i have the feeling that things are over.

i have a pretty nice beard now, it drips when i get out of the shower.

very hopeless lately. i don't have a job. i sleep late and then draw until the morning, talking to myself. i think yesterday is the first time i realized i talk to myself nonstop.

would it be lame to start a cereal corner on this blog where i analyze various cereals and their mascots? including imagined knife fights between the mascots?

does anyone in chicago have a job i could have? i am thinking janitor. i just want to be left alone. i dont' want to smile at anyone while making them a sandwich.

read this post by shane jones.

he says something i've been thinking for a long time. that unless you are an idiot (my words), publishing things changes nothing. you'll still be a scared human being hoping for something to change you without having to do much.

last night while i was drawing other people at the apartment were watching some american pie movie about a beach-house and they were mocking it. i kept imagining every character with a gun in their mouth and then their head exploding. that would make a great ending to a teen movie like that. like, surf guitar music comes in and then everyone shrugs and goes, "summer's over and so are our lives!" and then domino suicides, blood all over the beach.

i think i am in bad mood because i haven't had cereal yet.

i only sleep in hour long bursts now. the worst feeling ever is waking up.

26 will be the year of more drifting.

this laptop is burning my genitals.

i'm ready to love someone but i am too helpless.

i was at a wedding the other day and a girl standing at the bar, looked at me and then turned around and lifted her skirt a little so i could see her ass. i should've said, "so what?"

i would like it if the first half of your life you could have all the nights you will ever have, right in a row, and then the second half you could get all the days in a row.