i have a few copies of "no one can do anything worse to you than you can" "hurt others" "person" and "no hellos diet" firstname.lastname@example.org
i'll write "you butthole!" in them for you
also, the guy who directed "tremors" is going to make "no hellos" into a movie. s/he told me the main character will be played by the guy who played mr. belvedere.
i'm writing a book called "rontel" right now. it'll probably be real shitty but then i have a feeling the one after that will be good. trust me!
the reissue of "i am going to clone myself then kill the clone and eat it" will be out soon i think.
i think i'm going to start doing portraits. if you want me to make a portrait for you, email me.
i just heard an ice cream truck drive by outside and it made me feel instantly bad for some reason. like i had to take a deep breath from it.
UPDATE: an excerpt from THE NO HELLOS DIET has been posted online.
UPDATE: if anyone needs someone to paint their room/apartment/whatever (like painting it a single color, not designs DUH!) then email me and i'll do it for cheap. i'm quitting my job tomorrow and i like painting walls a lot. (also, you have to live in chicago and buy the paint DUH!)