want to hurt myself in a new and exciting way. like, not cutting myself, not hitting myself, but something new. i keep imagining lying on my back and screaming until, from the inside out, i rip into pieces and it hurts really bad. i've also considered headbutting a wall (but like, knocking on the wall to make sure i hit a crossbeam). you thought i was going to say "make sure i DON'T hit a crossbeam" didn't you. haha. kill you. i'm going to hit "preview post" now to make sure this looks good. fuck chicago and fuck everyone here.