want to hurt myself in a new and exciting way.  like, not cutting myself, not hitting myself, but something new.  i keep imagining lying on my back and screaming until, from the inside out, i rip into pieces and it hurts really bad.  i've also considered headbutting a wall (but like, knocking on the wall to make sure i hit a crossbeam).  you thought i was going to say "make sure i DON'T hit a crossbeam" didn't you.  haha.  kill you.  i'm going to hit "preview post" now to make sure this looks good.  fuck chicago and fuck everyone here.