got a public drinking ticket while getting drunk with a group of homeless guys last night.
we talked about mortal kombat and what we'd do if we were on the planes during 9/11.
if anyone wants to buy drawings/whatever, email me sampinkisalive@gmail.com
need money to pay off this bitch ass ticket.
willing to sell drawings for cheap cheap cheap (hear those little bird savings, cheap cheap cheap!)
also willing to do packages.
such as "the rontel package" (includes cover art for forthcoming novel "rontel" as well as pdf of almost finalized novel, as well as the skull of my cat rontel, jk! except for eveerything before the skull thing)
the "pdf" package, (includes pdfs of all my books, including "rontel")
the hand written package (where i handwrite one of my books in its entirety)
the "blood package" (where you can specify an amount of blood you'd like to drink out of me)
the chi-city package (where i take you on a guided tour of my fav chitown spots, and then wash your car in short shorts/no shirt)
the "hitman" package (where, no questions asked, you give me a target and i "do the business')
the "phone buddy" package where i borrow someone's phone and call you up every night for a week and we talk
the "i'll convert to any religion" package (you pick it, i stick with it!)
or anything else!
broke/going nowhere/washed up/chicago bum
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6 comments:
dang, let's talk $$$'s
If I weren't such a broke/going nowhere/washed up/bum myself, I'd really like it if you washed my imaginary car in short shorts/no shirt.
How much for the "pdf" package?
email me
three t shirt slogan ideas someone can pay me for:
1. "Shitcago"
2. "i'm not gay but my gun is"
3. "i probably don't like you"
dDude, if you pay any fucking money towards that bullshit-ass minor league ticket our relationship is annul.
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